I walked into the classroom to see if I had left my watch there, but to my dismay that guy was there. I hate men, they're all pigs. Even him. The way he stares at all the girls in the class is so disgusting, he's no different. Yet, something about him seems different. I don't know why, but I can't help myself when he's around. I want to trap his gaze and keep it. But when he's alone like this he looks so soft, so gentle. His eyes have a femenine glow, perhaps it's the sorrow I see in them. Of course, I cought his eye. I've always had a problem with sighing when I feel bothered, he noticed right away.

    "Hey, Iris. What're you doing here, so late after class?" he asked me, but I walked passed ignoring him. What was I doing leading a man on? I have no interest in men, no matter how beautiful they are. Yet, he definately seemed interested in me. I had no idea why, most guys find a girl as tall as I am to be unattractive, especially with how skiny I am. I guess to each his own, no?

    Of course, I couldn't ignore him. Once again, he spoke to me, "Iris." I glanced over, a big mistake. He had my attention, I couldn't simply ignore him now. "Did you lose something? Would you like me to help?" he asked softly. I never noticed untill then, but his voice was almost feminine, but still deep. This only bothered me more, he's a man. No matter how soft his eyes are or how girlish his voice is he's still a man.

    "My wrist was bothering me while we were taking notes so I took off my watch, but I thought I took it with me. I suppose if you're so eager to help I'll allow you to assist me," I said as cold heartedly as possible. He approached me and bent down to look under the seats, too close for my tastes. I stood up suddenly and suprised him, as he jerked back quickly.

    But as he jerked back his shirt remained open. For some reason or another I glanced, but a glance wasn't enough. Something was out of place, forcing me to stare. His chest was wrapped up. Maybe I shouldn't say his, but rather her! He was a she! She had her breasts wrapped up, she wasn't a man at all! I couldn't accept it, I assumed she had to be some sort of freak, was she really still a he!? A transvestite or hermaphrodite!? Oh god, what is this!?

    She looked up suddenly and pulled her shirt tight to her chest, her face bright red. "So you saw. Please! Don't tell anyone! I'm so boyish everyone has always made fun of me... I realized life would be easier if I pretended to me a man..."

    She opened her mouth again as if she were going to speak, but I cut her off. "I don't even want to know why, but I am curious. If you pretend to be a man, does that mean you think like a man? Err, rather, are you into girls as a man would be?" At that time I wasn't sure what posessed me to ask, but I know know it wasn't just lonliness. She'd caught my eye as a man, as a woman her presence absorbed my attention even further.

    "Does it matter? I'm no one to you, just a class mate. My preferences and hobbies shouldn't bother you. Please, just leave me alone and pretend you never saw anything," she asked, obviously quite bothered by this encounter.

    "Yes, it does matter, dear. You caught my eye for some reason when you were a man in my mind, but I see why that was now. Knowing your little secret your presence will only grow on me even more. You see, I hate men. Yes, the fact that I was quite caught up in you disturbed me greatly, but now that I see what you really are I'm quite interested."

    "I see, then I suppose... I can tell you. Yes, I'm like you. Well, I don't hate men, but I adore women. Especially girls like you," she said, blushing. That bothered me. A lot. I could only ask myself "why" over and over again. But now it was time for me to make a move.

    "Then, what do you say you drop your little charade? Show me what a beautiful woman you really are by coming to class as one tomorrow. Then afterwards, perhaps, I could buy you dinner. What do you say?" Quite the invitation, if I really am her type. Atleast, I thought so at the time. "Oh, but before that, what's your real name? Michael Brankku sounds a little fishy for a girl, don't you think?"

    "Ah, yeah... It's Michelle Brankku. I borrowed my twin brother's name and entered this school pretending to be him. He dissapeared one day and I decided to take his place. So you see, if I came to school as a woman it wouldn't work out too well. But, I'd still love to go to dinner with you afterwards," she looked so cheery after all this. What an idiot. This woman pisses me off, even more so than the inconsistant author of this story.

    "Hrmph. I will not date a man. Whether he's truely a girl or not. As you for, Michelle, you're an idiot. If you brother were to reappear, what would become of you? Either way, this charade will end at some point. No, I won't stop you, but somehow it'll falter. Identity theft is a real crime, you know. Such a sad, pathetic woman you are," I told her off, cold as ice. I started to walk out the room, noticing her eyes welling up with tears.

    "However, if you decide to drop this charade perhaps I can drop this high and might attitude for awhile and take you out to dinner. I may be a bitch, but I'm a forgiving one at that. I'll forgive you for lying, perhaps even cheating, and endangering your own future. You're still a little girl it seems." I was standing in the doorway about to leave when she spoke.

    "You have no idea. You don't know anything about me, about where I come from or why. You're right, you are a bitch! A presumptuous bitch! Gaaah!" She let out at heaving sob, causing me to jerk forwards a bit. I truely wanted to comfort her, but I held my ground.

    "If you do decide to try and grow up and live your own life then come see me. The sooner the better, or I may lose interest. But I promise if you catch me in time I'll help you along. Why am I bothering? You're too dense. Good-bye forever, sweet, niave Michelle. See you in class tomorrow, thick headed Michael."

    With that I walked out the door. No watch, no Michelle, nothing gained. Back then I really felt I was too tall, to skinny, and too bitchy to ever find a girl that would be mine. I suppose it'd because I have a sort of sister complex. I act like a sister and form sisterly bonds with my peers, but never creating a connection deep enough to form a romantic bond. Physical attention is easy to get, any drunk "bi" girl will play with me for a bit. But they're just as bad as men. They play you for a night and ignore you the next day.
   
    That day I gave up. I spent my nights thinking "I should have tried out to become a member of t.A.T.u." jokingly. I truely felt as though I'd never find mine. As though men were really the only way a girl was allowed to go by God. Then again, I had never believed in God, but I felt weak at that time. I was a college sophomore that hadn't had a date since I was a highschool sophomore. I was truely pathetic.